Among the many changes that the last 2 years have so relentlessly induced in me, is the topic I address in this post! I began life in Std. XI with several motives : among them was to explore my own limits, and to test the waters in any and every possible way I could. Among those, was music. As a music addict, and a passionate bathroom singer (neighbours in 3 cities can attest to my prowess in that field!), I'd always had a hidden suspicion that perhaps, I had an iota of vocal ability. This notion of mine had barely ever been affirmed or encouraged by any of my family members, or even my friends(except for maybe a couple of occasions)....there had been hints along the way, but unassuring in nature. Regardless of my fears, I decided to follow that road, willing to accept whatever result it brought!
An Inter-House Group Song Audition, and a 1st prize later, I was performing in inter-schools around the city. Granted, that I was in a group, and in no ways solely responsible for their success, but I had my own indiviual success in the midst of it : For me personally, it was fulfilling to simply BE there....the rush, the thrill and the excitement I felt every time I stepped up before an audience was truly unbelievable. I am, by nature, slightly introvert, and always suspected that I had stage fright. Yet, being there always felt comfortable, and the roars, cheers and jeers of the crowd energized me to the same extent!
Though the vocalists with whom I performed changed, songs changed, and costumes changed, my partner-in-crime remained the same : Sidhartha was always known to me as a talented keyboardist, but this was the first time I could truly acknowledge it first-hand! Behind the scenes in every one of our rehearsals were hours of mindless jamming where we practised every song we could think up, except the one we actually had to perform! We used breaks in regular practice to play our favourite tunes : KK's songs dominated our charts, and Shaan and Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy featured one a couple of occasions.....it was one of those rare times when I felt truly unrestricted, and free to express myself! I felt liberated.....free of whatever boundaries I had drawn for myself in my mind, and perhaps it is this very emotion that calmed me down even seconds before moving up to the stage. More than fear of embarassment, it was the urge to feel the electricity in the atmosphere in the auditorium that consumed me!
"Aadat", a song by Jal which we performed for the farewell party organized for our senior batch at school, was perhaps one of the toughest and most rewarding experiences of my life. The initial few practices had been so frustrating, and nerve-wrecking, that the doubts which had crept into my mind while deciding the song, were only FURTHER embellished! As the days went by however, practices got easier, and we truly began to enjoy ourselves. Towards the end of our 5-day odd practice, we already felt aptly rewarded for our work, and the friendships that had seen us embark upon this challenge had only strengthened as a result! We pulled it off well, and Sidharth, my fellow vocalist and great friend, surprised one and all. Sid, in all honesty, I believe has a voice that I believe is far better than mine, and certainly with greater scope for improvement, given the right coaching.
Along with the minor successes came dreams of forming a TRUE band, with original compositions and self-styled vocals. Tentatively named "ALTITUDES", it hasn't ever truly passed the conception stage : you could argue why we even bother calling it a band! Perhaps it's only to soothe my ego, even I have no rational answer to that question : but in all honesty, I had every bit the band experience I'd have wanted from a professional one! Yes, we goofed off at times when we should've been more focussed, and perhaps we could've been in a better position today. Fame and fortune were never my aim, there was only a desire to create, if possible, an album that we could cherish as a treasured souvenir, to help us cope with the struggles of an often robotic and emotionless life! No doors have been shut yet, so the hope still burns.......if anything, I've only gained from the experience : valuable friendships and a potful of memories!
I fully realize that this post risks being labelled as the work of a self-indulgent ego-maniac (which I believe I'm not)! I cannot help but acknowledge those events and moments which have sculpted me into the being that I am.....and the "ALTITUDES" are foremost among them! I am, and, unfortunately, will probably always remain a slightly above-average singer! The years I've wasted in my childhood when I could've read the signs a little earlier and sought vocal coaching still haunt me! I have, however, come to accept that my life will remain incomplete without music, and so have vowed to learn to play the guitar and the harmonica well before I mark my grave! To have lived the dream of every urban youth in the country for 15 minutes, even in relative anonymity, is a gift for which I will remain thankful to the Lord for eternity!
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