The Blue Horizon Beyond Dark Clouds

This phase of my life has been one of the most inexplicable of my life. The past month( though it hasn't quite seemed that short) has borne a myriad of experiences which might possibly have a telling effect on my distant future. Though not all is worth revealing on a public space such as this, some of it is. The first, and obviously most disheartening outcome over the last month has been the crashing and burning of a few last-minute 4th allotment CET-CS placement hopes. Though I'd had no such illusions at the time of joining MEC, perhaps the talk around me raised my hopes to a level where they never deserved to be. In either case, disappointment is part of the many setbacks I've learnt to take in my stride, for they only make me yearn to do more and to be more!

Secondly, although it's been only a month into college life, I haven't seen any true indications that I'll fall in love with this college in the coming years. Although this year is probably a lot harder than the years to come, there is a slightly suffocating atmosphere about the campus, beyond just the uniforms and strict teaching, that bothers me. I can imagine that the hostel seems the only refuge for most of my seniors( though I don't truly know them all that well). Hostel life, as of now at least, has proven to be a wholesome experience. I've learnt a fair bit through the day-in and day-out of self-care, without a parent or relative to fend for you. Though I've been relying a fair bit on my kind Uncle living close by for weekend getaways and uniform washing, other transitions have gone about fairly smoothly, and God willing, in another few weeks, I shall be independent in every respect : a notion I've been craving after ever since joining MH. I can't accept that I've enjoyed every second, but I can see 3 years of incredible fun ahead if things stay the same!

On the positive side, a few good friends and a lot of fun with fellow fresher hostelites has helped oveshadow some of the negative vibes I've been having about college life. The next four years will be a challenge for me at this rate, but as always, I remain upbeat......the same sort of psychotic childishness in my character( that I'm proud to portray) will help me in the darkest of times. No degree of confusion or anxiety will ever quench my zest to live life while I can. I never want to grow up...and I pray that I never do. My belief in myself, my future and my God remains : as long as all 3 persist, little can harm me! As was intended by the title, there may forever remain ominous clouds of doubt blocking out the blue sky, but it remains there, even when hidden, ever-available to those who wish to peer through the haze and see it. I may sound delusional, but if delusion is the true source of mental and spiritual happiness, I wanna subscribe to it!

Next is What?

While my feelings towards my college remain blurred and vague, the brightest spark among a fairly dismal first few weeks in college has been my new phone. At long last, I've managed to do away with my good-for-nothing Reliance Classic set and purchased a Samsung SGH J-150. The photo doesn't do it justice, for it actually looks a whole lot better in the palm of your hand! The first and foremost criterion for my buying this phone, was the great quality of its speakers....the volume is perhaps not as great as a Sony Ericsson, but it is just as clear and delightful. I see many hours of head-banging music in my future. The 1.3 Megapixel Camera is much clearer than the Nokia 3110, at least in the handset's display. The clarity will only be truly confirmed once I actually transfer my pics from the mob to my PC. 2 GB memory cards are supported, which is a major plus point. Bluetooth and a variety of decent games add to the list of positives. The look, which I didn't give all that much importance to, is perhaps the icing on the cake. Samsung phones pretty much outshine everyone in the looks department, and this one is no exception!

The battery provides a fair amount of talktime as well, which was a concern when I first bought the phone. There are a few negatives, as you'd expect in any budget-priced phone decked with high-end features. The internal memory is limited to 10 MB, which is a bummer. The phone comes without a memory card or a USB cable, which have to be separately purchased. It isn't Wi-Fi enabled, which, if it were, would've meant free Internet usage in the hostel. The most disappointing negative to this handset has been the discovery that I can't play games or use any other applications with the Music Player in the background.

But at Rs. 4550, it's a STEAL! A devilishly sexy( a compliment which I MYSELF have never received) handset with a brilliant music player, stylish display, finger-friendly keypad, Bluetooth and a quality camera will hardly ever cost less than this! I've already got my hands on a 1GB memory card, and am expecting the USB cable to arrive at my house hopefully by the weekend! I'm over the moon, and hope that this set will last well into my earning days! It's the best deal I could've hoped for!

Musings of a Deranged Mind

The past 3 weeks of college life have taught me a myriad of life lessons and harsh truths. A host of experiences the likes of which I'd expected to some extent, but not so soon. The college has proven to be worth the wait, but a lot of other issues cloud my judgement of it at the moment. The faculty is unimpressive, with only a handful of teachers who truly seem to be earning their wages as of now. From reports I hear, these standards don't tend to improve, but rather degrade as you enter into the succeeding years. The concept of total spoonfeeding has been lost, but a fair bit still exists in the first year, which distresses me. The entire advantage of the college academic experience is the work you put in for self-improvement, and the freedom to set your own study pace and pattern. It seems in the first year, as of now at least, that freedom is partially curtailed.

Many, especially those who know  very little about the college itself, suspect that MEC has a school-like atmosphere. Granted, the uniforms and the slightly-strict leave policies give that impression, even to me at this point where every part of the college still seems strange and unknown : yet, life in the 2nd year and onwards, seems a lot brighter and upbeat. Ragging details I can only mention in the 2nd year, and not publicly through any such medium, as there are eyes and ears everywhere watching and listening to everything I do or say at the moment. Now I know how contestants on those crappy reality shows feel!

Opportunities to participate in various Arts fests, on the surface, seem to be limited in this institution. Yet, hopefully the chances I do get, I shall exploit well. I've been drafted into one of the five houses participating in the intra-college arts and sports events : the PIRATES, of black and green, notably one of the rowdiest of houses at the moment. The houses we represent may change over the coming years, but perhaps being a PIRATE will be a blessing in disguise : I can only speculate, and hope it does turn out to be so in the coming days!

With all the complexities of college left behing, I'm hoping to enjoy the few days of freedom I have at home. It's going to be a tough year, and I'm going to need all the strength and luck in the world to come out of it unchanged. By the grace of God, the tyranny might end on a happy note five months down the line. Until then, however, I might as well make hay while the sun shines!