New Beginnings

I realize that it's been a while since my last post....but the sole reason for this intermission in the grand never-ending saga of my life is simple : I'd rather keep my silence than bore others with tabloid-like day-to-day breaking news bulleting. Now that my destination is virtually set, I once again embark on my blogging mission. 

I cannot proceed without providing a brief recap of the happenings of the last month or so : 1) Vellore Institute of Technology(VIT) contacted me for its 2nd session of counselling, where seats in Electrical,Civil,Chemical and Mechanical branches were left unoccupied. An Electrical seat was assured, if not Mechanical. Yet, considering that in terms of both affordability and quality, CET held the edge over VIT, I chose not to attend. 2)The AIEEE counselling held on 7th July, 2008, proved to be a rude shock, and a bitter disappointment. With Electrical and Mechanical seats available only at Durgapur,Silchar,Agartala and Srinagar, besides the plethora of options available in several private colleges. Again, factoring in the simple truth that CET outshone each of these(except Durgapur), and also the distance involved, I chose to opt out of my choices, and wait to be informed of drop-out seats at my favourite colleges, hoping to perhaps steal an IT seat somewhere! As such a miracle is unlikely, AIEEE, for the moment, appears out of the question. The 1st allotment of Kerala CEE counselling has completed, placing me in Model Engineering College, Ernakulam, in my branch of choice : Computer Science Engineering! Given that my higher option is CS in CET, the last rank admitted being 325, rank 735's hopes are minimal, save for a miracle!

Barring the fact that one of two equally unlikely miracles occurs(though I do not doubt the Lord's power.....hehe), my destination is confirmed. In a few weeks' time, I shall leave home to a new city, to meet new faces, leaving old friends and old memories behind. Do I sound a bit detached?? It feels so to me too, for my feelings at the moment are hard to describe. MEC is a good college, but nowhere near what I had wanted for myself, yet the disappointment does not consume me! If anything, it has only focussed my mind, to study harder than I have in the past, lest I end up falling short of my goals! An inner child in me seeks to reach out to every memory I've held dear over the past 18 years, right from my years as a toddler in Andheri West, Mumbai, to my teenage life in Trivandrum. My attention now diverts to assuring that I have reminders of every step of my life, photos and souvenirs to bring memories back in droves every time I touch them! It now focusses on reliving the best moments of my life anyway I can, bidding adieu to my friends as gently as I can! I have lived a dream for 18 years, but I don't wish to wake up sooner than I need to. More than looking out for my here and now, I see this as preparation for the future, for I know for certain there will be challenging moments ahead, filled with self-doubt and yearning for the support of friends and family. At such a time, I'd need these souvenirs to tide me by! I shall miss them desperately, and I hope they realize it. I'm seldom outspoken and open with my thoughts, yet I hope, my silence should say all that needs to be said! ( I know you can't see, but a couple of tears are forming at the corners of my eyes as  write this....I'm such an emotional WIMP!) I know I'll meet them maybe even once a month, if I'm lucky, but, I guess I just can't help it! The time for re-learning the true value of the bonds I've built over the years is now! The time for mourning the passing of an era in my life...is NOW!

I do this, for when I step into my college campus on that fateful day, I want to be free : free of any deep yearning for what I've lost or left behind, free of any feelings of regret, free...........The coming years mark a landmark in my life. They will teach me values and morals which will shape the rest of my life. They will teach me self-reliance, dedication and preseverance! As I step forward to a new world, I want to bear in my heart, little other than immense enthusiasm. I may not have reached the college of my dreams, but I would've reached one from where I can write my destiny anew! I would've arrived in a city teeming with new opportunities, new areas to explore, and experiences to cherish. I shall, with God's grace, make new friends, perhaps as special as the ones back home, and Ernakulam will be my new home! I already have relatives in that city, more importantly, relatives whom I adore! I shall develop more skills, learn more about myself, with regard to my talents, my choices, my  and my own character. I will endure perhaps pain and suffering, but it will hopefully only strengthen my resolve to grow as a human being, and will add value to my young life! When the Lord closes a door, he opens a window for you to step into the light......accept the power to change and shape your destiny in your own hands, and it will be yours!