Paying My Last Respects

t's been a dark few days for my life. I've failed to sum up the courage to blog about it till now, but I find myself ready now that I've established some(not much) peace of mind! On Saturday morning, my parents woke me up at 7 am to deliver the sad news that my grandfather was no more! Aged 84, his health and strength had declined gradually over the years and had begun to found normal conversations difficult to undertake. He'd awoken late in the night, complaining of an unusual amount of tiredness, and once he went back to sleep, breathed his last! A peaceful death is the most that any of us could have hoped for, and my grandfather was lucky enough to be granted one.

Grabbing a few clothes and a few essentials, we left our house by 8 am, arriving in Pathanamthitta, my uncle's house and then driving to Kozhencherry, my ancestral home, where my grandparents lived along with a helper. My grandfather's now lifeless body was being preserved in glass under regulated temperature. Even in death, he almost appeared to smile; his face, a picture of tranquility! Throughout the day, prayers and hymns were sung as visitors came from everywhere, most of whom were complete strangers to me! Though at first, the emotions were a bit overwhelming, I managed to distract myself by reading a book, for I knew I had to exercise control before I said my final goodbye. My plan succeeded to some extent, but the following day, during the funeral, nothing could help. Watching as his body was removed from its glass prison and placed in the open casket, memories flooded back. I'd always known my grandfather to be a good man. Though I perhaps did not have the deepest relationship with him, I knew him enough to understand the sacrifices he'd made to educate all 3 of his children, having been merely a poor farmer and a 5th Std drop-out! He'd toiled and sweated to support his family, and that easily earned my respect and love! Though my bond with my grandfather wasn't the strongest, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss, the loss of one of the closest relationships I could ever form with another person! My father is on most occasions, an unemotional man, at times, ill-tempered and hard to reason with, but to see this man whom I respect and at times fear, break down and shed innumerable tears at the sight of his father's casket, was too moving a sight for me to maintain my composure(whatever little was left i.e.)! My grandmother was inconsolable, and the grief of the moment overwhelmed me. As the tears trickled down my face, I wished to run away, unwilling to bear any more heart-wrenching sights of my family, yet i knew that by duty, I was bound to stay, and stay I did. As I leaned forward and planted a final farewell kiss on his now cold forehead, my lips went numb! It was one of the most distressing experiences of my life!

Carrying the closed casket into the ambulance, and then into church for the funeral procession, was further torture. Finally, I hoisted my grandfather's casket onto my shoulders for the final time, as my bare feet turned ashen from the burning hot sand surrounding his final resting place. After a few final words of prayer, the casket was lowered gently into the pit, and that was the last I was to see of my grandfather! Even the Almighty attempted to wash away the sorrows of those gathered, as rain descended upon the land, but nothing could raise my spirits as the final chapter of my grandfather's cherished existence came to a close! After a quiet dinner, we slept peacefully for a few hours before starting back for Trivandrum early the next morning, finally arriving at 12-30 in the afternoon! Mercifully, the ordeal was over, and I had no more grief-stricken faces to confront. Memories of this experience were now in the past, where I could leave them in peace forever more!